this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
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