we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
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