Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
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