i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
Have you seen my high heels that I wore out?
You mean the one that you threw at the parked cop car or the one in the microwave?
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
You left me a note that said "The Earth is blowing up. Bring the Rosé." WTF.
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