Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
The barista asked if I wanted my drink wet or dry, but all that came to mind was farts. You have ruined me.
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
Randomize
