Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
Randomize
