haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
i just heard the ice cream truck outside while mid-masturbation. i stopped and considered running outside to buy one.
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
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