How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
Randomize
