dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
Randomize
