"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
