You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
So I just chugged the rest of the wine in my mug so I would have something to eat my corn flakes in. With a plastic fork. I need a dishwasher
And maybe a life coach?
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
Randomize