Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
Apparently karate chopping the fronts off all the paper towel and soap dispensers in the bathrooms isn't even frowned upon. Like even at the third bar when I fell flat on my back trying to jump kick the last one some guy just helped me up and high fived me. America.
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