Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
My vagina is very pro this idea
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
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