So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
So I have the hangover from hell, spent all night puking, and there's a septic tank truck parked outside the house literally pumping shit. You win God.
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
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