Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
