my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Randomize
