I must be too annoying 4 u.
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
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