That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
party gras won. party gras always wins.
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
Randomize