i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
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