There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
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