If the Four Horseman of the Apocalypse gang banged each other and had a kid, it would look like the creature I woke up next to this morning.
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
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