girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
Randomize
