yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
I need to calm my uterus...
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
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