just come out here and I will go home with you...
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
I bought two pregnancy tests and a cosmopolitan magazine at 4am... I told the cashier "dont judge me, ur not God"
Randomize
