How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
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