he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
We talked him into tasing himself.
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
Almost screamed "GO FISH MOTHER FUCKER" at the girl I nanny today. Drunken card games shouldn't bleed into my sober life.
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
Randomize
