farters have to be the big spoon...
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
My dad found me naked curled up under a towel on the couch with a fucking tub of butter and a spoon. Ambien Mondays are dead
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
hot take: drunk me can walk through walls?
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize
