I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
Randomize
