We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
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