I feel like I'm in dance class right now
I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
Even the bartender felt bad for me
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
Don't EVER smell your tampon
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
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