Where is the hickey?
Memo to the bitch sitting across from me at Swamp: no one thinks you're classy with your Louis Vuitton and your Burberry scarf when you're dragging on that cig like it was the last cock on earth and you needed cum for sustenance.
and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
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