I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
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