Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
Randomize
