this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
Im just a social blackout drinker.
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
Randomize
