i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
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