this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
Hippo gnu deer
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
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