ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
I am stoned and watching Pocahontas. I am letting the kids eat whatever they want. I am the best babysitter in the whole wide world
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
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