Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
Dude I'm so glad we're not friends anymore. It would have made fucking your stepmom last night really awkward. Dickwad.
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
I blew past the Governor's motorcade going twice the speed limit and DIDN'T get a ticket. God wants me to get laid.
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
Randomize
