I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
Ladies don't puke and tell
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
I deserve this hangover.
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
Randomize
