Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
It's not mothers day until you're vomitting syrup into grandma's toilet. Cherish the holidays
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
My vagina is officially offended.
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
Randomize
