can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
You tried to tip the Uber driver with a meatball sub. Then, when he refused your meatball sub...you demanded he take you to the corner with the hookers. The valet has your keys and water balloons. I'm glad you're only in Chicago for the weekend.
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
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