gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
We're too hungover to prance.
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
the raccoons are back...
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