here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
We have an albino peacock in our apartment. It's beautiful.
Scratch it being beautiful, bitch just stole my McDonalds. Call animal control.
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Randomize
