I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
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