Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
She took me to ER. She says thought it was a squirtgun filled with vodka and she was 'marking me for later.' Thank god it's a flesh wound, and we're cool and going to date.
gtg, the cops are here
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
Randomize
