i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
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