Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
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