I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
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He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
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