those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
Dude you make losing your phone an art. You left it balancing on a two liter bottle in the kitchen. Wtf
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
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