Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
Randomize
