she was so hammered she started drinking dishwasher detergent
I dont know whats funnier - that, or that we learned that poison control is closed at 2 AM
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
Do you know why I woke up with a half peeled lemon in my purse with a post-it that said "eat me" on it?
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
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