I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
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