Hey guys thanks for lettin me crash at your place for the weekend, I had a great time. PS I got three quarters of a hand job from an asian on the dance floor last night. True story.
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
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