Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
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