and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i came on her dog
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
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