lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
So I'm drunk playing pool in a bar with a guy I arrested last week for a DUI...if he recognizes me, shit's gonna get real.
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
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