She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
A black cat walked my drunken ass home last night and made sure I made it back into the apartment safe. Sat with me for 30 minutes as I struggled to unlock the door. Guardian angel or drunken hallucinations?
Randomize
