worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
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