sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
Me either. I want to get 'chase a stray cat through the neighborhood in my hooker heels' drunk. And it's your birthday, so you have to get 'best friend holding your hair while you puke in the bar bathroom and cry about your life' drunk. In a feather boa.
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
Randomize
