wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
I told him he was a man of science and that he should conduct experiments on my tits to see how they stay up. I need you to hold onto my larynx when I'm drunk.
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
Randomize
