Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
Randomize
