i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
Ok fuckface listen up and listen good. 1.calling dibs on a chick out of your league is like applying for a job with a highlight video 2. dont fucking ski down the stairs again 3. if you do, put it on your highlight video
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
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