i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
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