no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
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I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
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