Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
You know your life is awesome when sometimes you walk down the street eating a sandwich and you run into someone you had a threesome with. And not say hi.
Dude, I woke up in the kitchen, naked, with a blueberry bagel as a pillow.
Can I eat your pillow?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
Randomize