blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
they call him Oral-B. enough said
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
You have to summon your inner elephant
Not much. Some creepy guy on Grindr thinks he knows who I am and where I live. So I sent him to that place with jockstraps and bacon. Hope he has fun.
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
He was so drunk last night. He woke up out of a dead sleep at 330am, walked over to the dresser, opened his middle drawer and proceeded to pee. When I woke up and asked him Wtf he was doing, he told me it was fake pee and blamed it on the cat...we don't have a cat
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